A Heartfelt Message

 It feels good to hear the things that float around in you're head, come out of someone elses mouth. Someone you least expected. Someone you thought couldve cared less about your crazy thing called life. There really isnt a whole lot of people I can say helped me along this journey of heartbreak, acceptance and moving on. A hand full..maybe.

One popped up the other day. An unexpected yet thoughtful being. One I guess was always there, just under the radar and slightly misinformed. Your words spoken, seem so clear to me. That's when I knew it wasn't just in my head. I have every right to feel the way I do. The words and thoughts you so simply put, made sense. I understood everything you were saying. While reading your "so matter of fact" and inspirational words, there were moments when I felt that forbidden sensation slowly fall down my cheek.That doesn't happen everyday anymore. Those days are becoming less as time goes on. Even though some of the things you were saying, other people had already said, it seemed like it hit me that much harder. Maybe it's because I felt like you could feel my pain. Or the fact that you now know the other side.Whatever made you reach out to me, Im very much grateful. I want you to know that just typing this, makes me emotional. You came at a time when I feel like Im getting stronger and able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But I still very much need that encouragement and I could always use that extra person telling me that Im going to come out of this on top. Even though I know I will, reassurance doesnt hut.Theres those people that say, "Im here for you" or "if you ever want to talk, I'll be there." I feel youre one of the more sincere people I can confide in.

A wise man once said, "The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core strength within you that survives all hurt." Though I wish this "turning point" couldve came in another form of my life, I completely believe I have discovered my own strength within me. I haven't been rid of all this hurt that walks on this broken but fully capable of recovering heart of mine, but it will eventually decrease its stabs it ever so slightly puts in my fragile heart. That'll be the day Max Lerner,  when I can say I survived all hurt from my own strength.

I can honestly say Ive already learned so much about myself. How much keeping positive thoughts in my head calms my mind. Keep moving forward, without paying much attention to things that you cant change. Giving up on all those "what if's" and start saying "what now?" Its so crazy how something like this usually happens that gives us a different frame of mind. I hope he can find that peace within him that gives him the strength to live the life he's always wanted. I know, in everything he has taken away from me, the one thing he's given me in replace is the opportunity of finding my true self. In no way am I saying its not a struggle each day, but in the sense of, he's brought out qualities in myself that I didn't know existed. And for that, a smile appears.